lolcomics

lolcomics is worried you may know know it is us, since we are not bringing the mock to DeeCee. But we promise it is lolcomics.

Comic-Con International, which really needs a name change to something like, "We love you like a sibling comics, but movies and teevee is who we need."
But that too long. How about divalea's suggestion: Not Really About Comics Anymore (NRACA) Con. lolcomics can't say it roll right off the tongue (because it do not), but CCI sure needs to move the "comics" part of the name to a footnote, mebbe one with a dagger.

Many years NRACA Con has been calling itself "fambly-friendly," and many years lolcomics looks at NRACA Con pix of Incredibles girls with cameltoes, a snake ladies in boxes, twelve-year-old girls in Slave Leia outfits, 16-year-old girls with bras made of two pieces of tape over their nipples like suspenders, and many booths of ladies displaying nunnies covered by the same postie-its flaggies lolcomics accountant uses to show us where to sign on tax forms.
lolcomics is pretty sure this is not fambly-friendly unless you one of those families like the family in V.C. Andrewses books. (Hint: they not so functional.)

This is lolcomics favorite proof that 2007 NRACA Con is still fambly-friendly only in a banjo kind of way. It is two of a buncha people dressed as people from a over-twenty-year old movie with Indiana Jones and Madison the Mermaid and Rrrrrrutger Hauer. lolcomics sees duct tape-like bra action heres, so lolcomics once again brings the mock:



lolcomics bummed this pick from The Beat. We have to take Beat at her words that this at NRACA Con, since ennyone can photoshop inna logo. lolcomics usually demands to sees a Klingon or skeezy agents with 80's hair scamming comp graphic novels.

Minxez can't seem to bring the wins. First, they hire no women who write comics for their comics line for girls. Then, they hire women with comics experience, one of them with metric bunches of DeeCee experiences (not Oh Dear Superheroine, but Alisa Kwitney), and another who wrote a comic that is getting really published.
MInxez  PeeAre posted by L.A. Slimes bloggerer mentions theses women's comic experience a whole lot of none times.

THEN Minxez gives away hot pink swaggy from their hot pink cave at Sandy Eggo Party Weekend. Pink is kind of a funny color for a comics line that wants to not scare boyz away too much.
Minxez website is deadful (we mean deadful, not dreadful). lolcomics knows the time on their 'pooter, we don't need to go to Minxez to find out, or see a bookshelf with a bear next to it.  (Not enny good bear, either, like a constipasted grizzly lunging for lolcomics' prunes. Nooooo 'course not.)
SPECIAL LOLCOMICS WARNING: lolcomics thinks that Minxez is either trying to hypnotize visitors into buying Minxez PeeAre NQA, or to induce a fall over wallet-biting fit.*

lolcomics is officially Still Not Impressed and is watching to see if Minxez goes a whole two years before prentending they always meant to do a altcomicx line like Oni and Slave Labor, which is okay, b/c that's where all their talent was poached from ennyway.

In sums, lolcomics SAYS:

Like lots of the not-abused Batgirl fans, lolcomics has been waiting with excitement of muchness for Batgirl's Showcase Collection.
lolcomics thinks DEECEE may have finally found the Philosopher's Stone that transforms femininist comics fans into the Hive Nunny they keeps saying they are not.
lolcomics is scared. Hols us.




You can't has dignity. You can has your stupid girl comics, but not without DEECEE telling you again you are just stupid cooters wif cooties.

It is coldest of comforts to lolcomics that this could be worser than just Batgirl putting on make-up. DEECEE could've used Joker's picchurs of shot naked Batgirl. Sad thing in comics is when companies hit bottom, they just keeps digging.

lolcomics got bizzy again. But this morning, Heidi MACDonald gives us Zuda Zuda We Wantz Youda. Zuda talk is fluffy like a little Paris Hilton dog. Fluffy and insubstantial.
No one at Zuda, including Kwanza Johnson (we love that name), seem to know what Zuduz planz are.
So, lolcomics takes a break from Other Plans to say:



DeeCee, tie string to Zuda before it fly away!

lolcomics wants to say they lieks a lot about this cover. Gud drawings, gud body language. We gets it supposed to be Barbara Gordy and Dinah Lance yokking it up at their other selves. We loves that Babs is slapping table so hard she spilling expensive coffee. (We hopes Babs is drinking quad with real milk and syrup, not decaf with blue waters.)
But we loses it in sun when we sees they can't be on cover laughing at selves without also having themselfs hovering like oversize girl gods so when they high kick we can see their crotches real gud.
We not understand whut Green Arrow doing, but we guess laying sum sort of pipe. Mebbe #2 pipe. Mebbe he surpiseded that he have no legs and no wheelchair.

Barbara is saying, "Remember how I looked b4 Joker shot and raped me so Batman an' him could have a gud laff?! Now I actualized and  have wheelchair an' puters!"
Dinah is saying, "Remember when I highkicked an' everyone could see seamline went front to back?"
Barbara, "That so funny I spill five dollah coffee because don't look now Green Arrow is sportin' woody!"

lolcomics doesn't see why they can't get across saem thing with Powr Rangers poses. But lolcomics cants have nice things. So we has nothin left but to mock thru the tears.

lolcomics is sorry not to mock comics for four days. Our secret indentity had to work. There were no clean dishes off which to eat Super Sugar Crisp.

lolcomics found picture at other place that maeks fun of comics: Lying in the Gutters, then added letters to overstate obvious: Greg Land without porn is like Hansl and Gretl without bread crumbs--lost and eated by cammibals.

odditycollector pwns DeeCee solicits! Seems 2 think not done yet. lolcomics pretty sure OC can stop naow and still have WIN!



No notes we noticed. lolcomics is misting up at the simple beauty of this image.





odditycollector sez abaot this:  Not my brilliance. I was complaining to </a></b></a>brown_betty how the cover to the new Infinity, Inc. series made me want to run out and buy it (Natasha and John Henry! Flying about gleefully!) but the solicit was kind of incongruous:
INFINITY INC. #1 will take readers on a tortured trip to the dark side of the superhero dream.
She’s the one who pointed out the snarky interpretation.

lolcomics is pretty sure no one at DEECEE editorial this funny on porpises, so must be unfortunate. After all, DEECEE gives us Streetwalky Soopergirl.

Lots maor haha HERE! THNX, OC!

Poor MJ. First Peter radioactive sperms her to death, then he eats her. lolcomcis begins to get picture that "fucked to death" and "eaten" mean different things at Marbls than at lolcomics' love nest.




lolcomics thought of lots of jokes for this one, but decided that two jokes in saem picture did the job. We can make fun of Top Moo now. Or more Marbls. So menny ez choices.

lolcomics is makin entries while we has bacon. Nom.

Another great submish from thebfg:



This one kinda maeks lolcomics sad.
No, MJ, you not die with dignty. You not even live with dignty.
You cant has dignty.

That right, Powergirl so secure in sexuality she can have no nipples and boob window and mebbe we ferget she kickass. Oh, sorry, we forgot that Joe Quesadada's excuse.)



(thenk ewe to the bfg for submish)

lolcomics will take enny chance to reminds DC that having someone make pornface when being killed ded with silly driller is verra gross and wrong and we're tellin' your moms.
Goes to your room wifout San Diego, Dan DiDio en Paul Levitz.



(thenk ewe to the bfg for submish)

From Greg Morrow, by hiz pal Jason Modisette:



lolcomics gives him pass on lettering, it matches Sideblow letters color.

lolcomics wants your lolcomics. Make, or send links (lolcomics @ gmail . com), or post links!

Here's rules for making or picking to send:

1. Swears better be funny. If you can make "F*ck! F*ck! F*ck! F*ck! F*ck!" funny, we want to see.
   
2. No making fun of real people: their race, weight, height, chin, whatever. lolcomics Do Not Want captioned pictures of Paul Dini dressed as Green Lantern, mkay? ("I called Joe Quesadilla cause I eat so many! lulz!" Not Funny! DO NOT WANT.) Once you start making jokes about someone's looks, it all ends in the tears. We none of us Brad Pitt, not even Brad.
3. Bad ideas? ATTACK!
   
4. Sexist art, like where hero girls do high kicks for no reason except to show their seams go from front-to-back? ATTACKS!
   
5. Mocking the editor or publisher that approved bad/dumb/silly/gross art, or who sez dum-dum things to defend it is okay. (e.g. "I Joe Quesada, and I approve of the hentais evn tho I not know whut they are!" is gud, )
   
6. No jokes about hurting, killing, house fires, mental handicaps, physical handicaps, bashing gays. Not funny, never funny. Do Not Want. You need to tell 'tard jokes, go make in private forums to save public faces.
7. Do yer best to make images no taller than 7 incheses and no wider than 6 (incheses).
8. See instructions for lolcats captions HERE. Use Franklin Gothic Demi, though. Arial is ass, it needs to belong at the bottom of the same poo-font ocean as comic sans.

THE END!

*Rolling on Castle Floor Laughing
Doom makes up own Intarwubs abreevs. He's a nerd.

lolcomics actually likes this cover. It's funny, it fits H4H cheesecake ethic.
But H4H still not for kids, Marbls. Get reals.

Picture of cute noodle kid used with permission.

All done with Marvel for now. It's just too easy. Like, fish barrel gun.
Thank you, Marbls, for making lolcomics' job so easy!

(snatched from divalea)

(stealed from arcana_j)

Even eyecatch-freaky in thumbnails. Most pictures don't look fucked up until you clicks "enlarge image."